Take, Run, Follow

Somewhere in here I mentioned that I was heading toward the final book in the Dark-Hunter series. The Minions out there know that statement is incorrect. I know it now, too.

This year, dubbed The Year of Acheron, by Miss Kenyon herself gave us the long awaited book, Acheron. I thought that was the end of it because he’s the driving character behind the creation of the Dark-Hunters.

In a way, I’m right.

The Kenyon website states that we are heading into “Phase Two” of the series. Acheron is the first installment of the second phase. So from a point of view, there was an end in sight. Lucky for us fans though, it’s not exactly the end, but a new beginning.

Next up in the series is One Silent Night. There is a ticker on the website that says it’ll be here in nine days. I clicked it for details, but got an invite to sign up for the newsletter instead. I did sign up, but I have no other info on that book.

Looking at the rest of the site, I came across two future installments, Dream Warrior and Bad Moon Rising. Both are slated for 2009.

So where does that leave me? It kind of leaves me caught up with the rest of the paranormal romance world. I’ll have to sit and wait like the rest of you.

That kind of sucks.

So what will I do while waiting?

I’ve been asking myself that for a while now. I’ve mentioned that I am going to start a novel on November 1st. I feel the need to ride the Wrimo buzz all the way through to the end of the month and beyond. (There’s no way I’m going to send a query out on a first draft piece. I’m arrogant, but not stupid.)

And speaking of queries, am I really going to do it? I think I am this time. Or rather, I am this time.

I’ve spent many years writing. My first journals are from grade school. I’ve been praised for the ability all of my life. I was told I was going to be a star when I was seventeen years old.

So what happened? Here I am at 36 and I’m unpublished and the height of my “career” is in a high school that no longer exists.

Life happened. Poor choices and wayward paths happened and maybe just a tad of insecurity. I stopped pursuing my dream because I didn’t think I was good enough. I held myself to such a high standard that anything but a perfect first draft was unacceptable and I did the worst thing a writer can do, in my opinion anyway.

I wrote for my audience.

Sure, it’s good to give the people what they want. I want more Dark-Hunter books. I don’t want Kenyon to stop producing them. But you know, you can put too much into the wants of the crowd; It can destroy creativity. It can make a writer question themselves.

I did and the words wouldn’t flow. They’d come out jumpy and unsure of themselves. And it read that way.

Four years ago I stopped doing that. I got back to writing for me, writing the things that came to mind. I even stopped caring about what I was actually saying. My goal was to get it on paper, get it out, no worries about depth or being seen as good.

After awhile, my brain was trained to pick out the good from the shit I was spewing on paper. I grew confident in my word choices and understood that nothing is written in stone. Second drafts are a possibility! And I have this button on my keyboard that says “delete”.

Deleting can be a wonderful thing. So is backspacing.

So here I am producing relatively coherent stuff and there are people who actually like what I do. Imagine that? And I am writing for me, writing for my sanity, not them or thiers.

But after a while, my writing started to include the readers. Not because I catered to them, but because they started coming along for the ride.

Nah, I can’t please everybody and I don’t expect to. I am expecting to keep at it though. I’m going to keep going, even if my words never get past a few lone pages on the internet.

A couple of weeks ago I did something that I never did before. I answered an ad for our local News and Review. It felt good to do it, even though I know the Editor won’t give me the time of day. Who am I, but an unknown writer with absolutely no experience?

It doesn’t matter if I don’t even get a Thanks-but-no-thanks letter. I applied. I applied to prove that I was actually doing something with myself.

This Saturday, Wrimo starts. It’s nothing but another day to most, but to me it’s a start of a new perspective on my writing life. I aim to get published or at least turned down by every publisher in the country: twice.

So I’m feeling good on this Halloween Eve. I’m riding high and have much joy to share. Take it, run with it, follow your dreams!

© 2008